As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
