My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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