***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
