I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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