So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
