I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
