let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
