I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize
