We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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