Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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