I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
