big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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