They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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