he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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