The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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