if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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