By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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