stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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