i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
