she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
