You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
