so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
