The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize