i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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