I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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