3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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