sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
