If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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