I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
