I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
