this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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