pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
