I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
