I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
there is glitter all over my balls
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
