so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
