you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
