So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
