i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I puked a lego.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize