I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
