dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
