How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
