There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.