you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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