I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.