so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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