Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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