My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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