This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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