who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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