I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
