Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
