I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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