Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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