My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
