I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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