Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
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Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
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The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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