who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
