p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Bring me that man meat
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
