What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
