check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
