Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
