brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
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I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
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You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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